Being a Friend and having friends are something that all of us do, whether we know it or not the human species is a social and herd animal, meaning we feel safer in groups and like living close to others, of course some of us like to live a little bit apart but that is beside the point. My wife and I have a friend who has made a complete and total train wreck of her life yet she refuses to accept responsibility for her actions, instead she blames everyone and everything else for her failures. When she was younger she was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, ADD, ADHD, and mild paranoia (I know, wow) she took her medication for all of 3 days pronounced herself cured and quit taking them. This was when she was 16/17 yrs old, she is now 34 and acts anywhere from 10-18 sometimes even her own age. For the sake of it lets call this person Helga. Helga in her short life has given birth to 4 kids one when she was 16 or 17 yrs old, another when she was in her 20’s and 2 more almost back to back in her 30’s. The only one she has left is the last one the others she has given up and they are being raised by others. Yes Helga has problems yes she has burned all of her bridges, friends and family alike, she has no one to blame for her predicament but herself yet all she does is sit around blaming everyone for her problems. The main issue I have a problem with, is her inability to tell the truth. For as long as I have known her she has never once told the same story the same way twice, she either changes her story, adds to the lie or denies she ever said anything so I started taping and recording her in the hopes of getting her to acknowledge the facts and to try to do a mini-intervention. Somehow she always manages to make those around her the bad guys not her, she is innocent. That’s why we have cut her off so did her parents and her husband (who refuses to divorce her even though she has cheated on him numerous times and has even had 2 kids with other guys) so she moved in with the father of her latest child and things were okay till the truth came out or he discovered the truth about her anyway he threw her out and she has ended up in a local shelter where she has proceeded to throw a ginormous pity party and has blamed my wife and I among others for her problems, how do I know this if I am not talking to her somehow she has access to FaceBook and has posted her complaints about us online, she has also told the social workers there a whole bunch of lies, which they then pass on to us what is interesting is she also got thrown out of the shelter for lie and stirring up the other ladies there.
Yes Helga has major issues! But that is not my major issue here, my issue is why do we allow others to do things like this to us? Why allow a person to get away with treating us like Helga treated my wife and I for awhile before waking up and cutting them off, why not cut them off as soon as we realize what they are doing or never allowing them to get anywhere near us? Is it because we hope for good in our fellow man, and we tell ourselves that Helga couldn’t do be doing that to us! When in fact we are in denial far more than Helga is! Why allow the Helgas and the Henrys of the world to do this to us, maybe because we want to help and we refuse to see what is in front of us, a con-man, and not the innocent we want and need to help?!? I can only pray that we do not become as cynical as the Helgas and Henrys have become and never give those around us the benefit of the doubt and never allow anyone to get close to us!
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